They sweltered, then danced in the rain

It was 30 degrees before 9am today in Sydney and in the afternoon, when we drove around the city trying to keep the dog cool, the windows felt hot to the touch from inside even though we had the aircon blasting. How can you have a day like today and think the world isn’t ill at ease?

It seems like an odd time to decide to launch this blog. When I first sat down to write this entry I was sitting in an apartment without an aircon, fan on full force, dog under desk and ice cubes which I had tried to feed him melting into the carpet. Now, a cool change has come and I am at home with all the doors and windows open letting the wind gust through the house, rattling the doors, lifting papers and tickling the droopy leaves of our normally still indoor plants. How does one dance in the rain that hasn’t arrived but you want so desperately want to feel?

‘This blog will be imperfect’ I say to myself. ‘This blog will be practice’ I decide.

Even so, for an over thinker like me imperfection is hard to accept and practice is frustrating when it doesn’t immediately yield fruit – but I still think these points are important. Writing has always been a strange craft because it has always been about me and yet I desperately want anonymity. It’s kind of like saying ‘look, I’m here in the world and I have something to say but don’t listen too seriously, because actually I have no idea what I’m talking about.’

So I will go kindly into this unknown terrain. I give myself permission to loaf and lounge; to be messy and moving; to reveal, reflect and take risks; and say things passionately that I may not always love but will mean in the moment.

This is a place for me to write and just like any other place, it will be characterised by a history which is both personal and shared. What I write may not always be ‘about me’ but there will always be a little me in everything I write.

I hope that the little bit of me that might emerge for readers will reflect my wit, anxiety, charm, tenderness as well as my tendency to catastrophize, to find everything funny and be overly romantic. For those who do not know me: believe everything you read. For those who know me intimately: trust nothing.

Welcome and thank you. Now lets dance together.